Feelings
One of the first things I learned about life with autism is: being chronically misunderstood and people often thinking the worst of you is quite common. Especially as a level 1 autistic.
Because many of us may appear ‘normal’ (wtf is normal?) or neurotypical, our operating systems couldn’t be more different. I’m not going to get into those differences too deeply, just know they exist.
Nonetheless, I’m still a human being, autistic or not and I have feelings that can be hurt. Often times very easily. Because another thing about autistic people that many don’t realize is many of us are extremely sensitive. That’s a huge part of what autism is. Being sensitive. Not just our emotional feelings and regulation but also our nervous systems WHICH IS SOMETHING WE CANNOT CONTROL.
Yes, I used all caps because I was yelling. Why? Because I get so sick and tired of people saying that we can control certain things and that we do things on purpose when it’s simply not true. I literally have a medical diagnosis! More than one smh
Anyways…
I’m saying all this because my feelings get hurt a lot because it seems some of the people closest to me don’t seem to believe I have feelings at all. At least that’s how they behave.
Most recently, I reactivated my Facebook page because I’m making an attempt to broaden my social media reach with this blog. I have plans for it, so it’s not just a personal journal – I already have one of those. It’s a place where I share my life experiences in the hopes that others may relate and feel seen or maybe just give a glimpse into the mind and life of an autistic midlife adult for those who are curious. Either way, I reactivated my FB account.
The very next day I got a request from someone close to me from one of their ‘other’ profiles, so I accepted the request of course, because why not?
But when I did, and saw their page, it seemed there were several very recent posts essentially complaining about me. Yes! The person was vaguebooking me and sent me a request presumably so I can see it and feel hurt.
Well, it worked. That shit ruined my day – well not my day but it certainly put a damper on my mood. I mean, it made it to my blog, so.
I’m disappointed but understand that all things are data.
What do you do with data?
Exactly.
